Dear Friends,
I have an email from Delta Airlines sitting in my inbox. The subject line tells me that they really, really want my feedback on my latest trip.
They do not want my feedback on my latest trip.
You can skip this next section if travel stories bore you. I just thought I’d write my “feedback” here and paste it into their form later.
My flight out of Ft. Lauderdale was delayed because they couldn’t get a plane there. I was concerned I wouldn’t be able to make my connection in Minneapolis, but there was a window to make it. Then they delayed it even further and then I was certain to miss my connection. Very helpfully, Delta quickly sent me a text telling me “You’re rebooked. Flight 1610 9:45 p.m.” (That’s a direct quote.) Great! I didn’t have to do anything; they just booked me on the later flight home!
When got to Minneapolis there was no flight at 9:45 p.m. Upon investigation I discover that they booked me on a 9:45 p.m. flight the following night. Like, as in 28 hours in the future. There’s no way to get me home, no other routes? I need to talk to a Delta representative. I go to the Delta Help Center on Concourse G. Not an employee in sight. I go to the Delta Help Center on Concourse F. Not an employee in sight. I go to the Delta Help Center on Concourse C. Not an employee in sight. Now, if you know the Minneapolis airport, you can appreciate that I am traversing the whole sprawling facility. So I pick up one of those dreaded “black phones.” You just pick it up and it connects to you a Delta representative.
I’m on hold for 25 minutes. A nice lady in Singapore answers the phone. I explain my predicament. Surely there has to be another route she could book me on? I get put on hold three more times—a full hour on the phone, all told. Finally, she books me on two United Airlines flights in the morning, one to Denver, then to Salt Lake City, and then I get back on Delta to get home to Billings at 5:30 in the afternoon. Fine. If I’m going to be sitting around all day, I might as well do my sitting on a plane that is traversing me “closer” to home (even though none of those destinations are actually closer to home). She sends me a confirmation of my flights, for 8:40 the following morning.
My one friend in Minneapolis graciously picks me up and I crash with him and his family. Delta ain’t giving me a hotel room.
Back to the airport in the morning. I go to the United ticket counter. They have no idea who I am or why I think I have a ticket booked on one of their flights. I show them, to no avail whatsoever, my confirmation email from Delta. Sorry, buddy. You’re not in our system. You need to talk to Delta.
It’s 7:30 in the morning and the place is mobbed. The line to the Delta ticket counter is a hundred deep. So I get on my Delta app. I see that my “itinerary” with United has completely vanished, and Delta now has me back on the 9:45 p.m. flight. I click on “change flight / see alternative routes.” Oh, look! There’s a flight to Salt Lake at noon! And it gets me there in time for the Billings flight getting in at 5:30! (Now, you should ask yourself: why in the world couldn’t the lady in Singapore find these flights? Instead she “booked” me on another airline with an additional stop.) I select the flights, even pick my seats! I’m getting so close. I hit “confirm.” Spin, spin, spin, spin… “Oops. We’re sorry. Something went wrong.”
I get in line with the rest of the mob. At last, I explain my predicament to the very nice lady and she looks utterly baffled. She’s scrolling around on her computer and finally I explain: “Look. There’s a flight to Salt Lake City at noon. There’s a flight from Salt Lake to Billings arriving at 5:30. I need to get on those flights.” With the help of a supervisor, she finally gets it done. And then tells me, “The only way this worked out was because you told me the itinerary. I wouldn’t have found that route.”
Delta should just fire all their employees and have the passengers do all their own bookings. Oh, they already do that, on an app that tells people “Oops.”
Oh, I caught a cold and got sick as a dog, too. Because, of course.
When my band hits it big, we are traveling exclusively by bus.
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