Welcome to The Square Inch, a Friday newsletter on Christianity, culture, and all of the many-varied “square inches” of God’s domain. This is a paid subscription feature with a preview before hitting the paywall. Please consider subscribing to enjoy this weekly missive along with an occasional “Off The Shelf” feature about books, a frequent Pipe & Dram feature of little monologues/conversations in my study, and Wednesday’s “The Quarter Inch,” a quick(er) commentary on current events.
Dear Friends,
Happy concert day! I wish you could all come and watch The Bailey Band tonight. We’ve been rehearsing a ton and are as musically tight as we’ve ever been. I’ve got a bit of prep left to do, like packing up the instruments and assorted equipment so I will hopefully keep this week’s Square Inch on the shorter side.
So allow me to comment on a couple of things.
So … we now have a Presidential election between one candidate who continues to brag that he is capable of passing a simple cognitive test designed to detect dementia, and another candidate who cannot pass a simple cognitive test designed to detect dementia. We are really knocking it out of the park as a country, aren’t we?
If you’ve been under a rock for the past day or so, I should catch you up on things. Yesterday the Special Prosecutor tasked with investigating Joe Biden’s mishandling of classified information (did you forget about that? He said it was safe because they were in a garage next to his Corvette) released his final report. His findings? Joe Biden is guilty of willfully mishandling classified information. That is a little awkward, since his own Justice Department is charging Donald Trump with the very same crime. They are both guilty and maybe they should go share a cell somewhere and put themselves out of our collective misery.
Where was I? I was daydreaming. Oh, yes. The Special Prosecutor does not recommend filing charges against the President, even though he is guilty of the crime. Why not? Because, the report explains, the President is basically so mentally unfit to stand trial for the crime that a jury wouldn’t convict him. I mean, Tom Wolfe himself could not have written a plot so absurd as the one we are living in right now. Gary Larsen could not draw a Far Side cartoon as absurd as the one we are living in right now.
It gets more absurd.
The report was so damning—I mean, in interviews with authorities Biden could not remember when he was the Vice President of the United States, could not say (within several years) when his son Beau died of cancer, and couldn’t remember any details about the Afghanistan withdrawal—that Joe Biden insisted on immediately going out and doing a public press conference to show his mental acumen. And he called the President of Egypt the “President of Mexico.”
Oof.
As you might imagine, Democrats are in a total five-alarm panic. They are lashing out at the prosecutor, of course, completely incensed that he has exposed the very thing they have (uselessly) been trying to cover up. And boy are they in a pickle. Literally the only two people on planet earth capable of losing a Presidential election to Donald Trump right now (besides Hillary Clinton, I mean) happen to be the two Democrats on offer: Joe Biden and Kamala Harris.
I guess all I have to say is that if these people are at all sincere in their hysterical warnings about Trump’s threat to “our democracy” then they’d better get their act together and figure out how to put somebody other than those two mediocrities on the ballot. I have no earthly idea how they might do it. I imagine it will involve an ugly Democratic National Convention.
And, I must say, I am surprised that this is all according to my predictions. If I continue to be right and it ends up being Gavin Newsom on the ballot, I might have to consider buying a lottery ticket or two.
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to The Square Inch to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.